I have had a hard time letting anyone see the inside of my house for many years. I clean regularly, but the piles of mess keep showing back up, depositing stuff everywhere. I can’t seem to find the energy or discipline these days to get it caught up and to keep it that way.
Too much stuff, not enough me. Too much me, not enough Papa (God).
My weak points seem to be the dining room table and it’s paper monster, as well as the kitchen counter with stuff on it (isn’t counter space a magnet?).
The greatest nemesis I have in keeping the house (apartment) in order is the small, spare bedroom, which is really more like a catch-all, garage type of room and it is very full.
The other day, while on a fun outing, my sister-in-law Teri and I were chatting about health, stressors, etc. Later, she turned to me and offered to borrow a pick-up and help me move everything out of the spare room to the truck, then haul it to an extra (very spacious) room at her place, which is unused at the moment. This would give me space to sort, and gather my bearings on what to keep and what to let go of once and for all. Then, when ready we can transfer the stuff I am keeping back to the room and set it up in some sort of usable sense.
I jumped at this, even though I cringe at the immensity of the project (just like moving!). Not to mention that the stuff would need to be out of our place by the end of this month to give me time to get it sorted through and back again. Amazingly, this is liberating and not as overwheming as the prospect of working on it in the small room it is in.
The change in me is that I will accept help with this, and in a way that takes a lot of work from someone else. Typically, my attitude is that it is my mess, I made it and I need to clean it up myself.
The Lord has been humbling me for a very long time, with health issues, relationships, finances, mistakes, appearance and personality issues. I can tell now that I have truly been humbled, enough at least to accept the help, admit I can’t seem to do this on my own (ouch! -aren’t I superwoman?), and to allow my worse ugliness and weaknesses be seen and rescued by someone who is quite busy, herself.
You humble me, Lord. You humble me. Thank you for it, too. I obviously need it.
My hope, and yes even a goal (gasp!) of mine is that by the beginning of November the spare room will be emptied, vacuumed, shampooed, then ordered and arranged in a functional and peaceful way. (Is it possible to have a computer area, a bed in there and keep my prayer area? (Not to mention the storage that must still be there. Hmmm.
I hope to let go of so much that it shocks me and gives me peace. I hope that by the end of this year, every space in my home will have been emptied, cleaned and ordered and that 2009 will be a new season in my life.
I have gained many good, and disciplined habits this past few years and these will help to keep me from returning to this state again. The issue I have is taking care of the old while keeping up the current. I believe this offer for assistance and Teri’s brilliant plan will actually help me over this hurdle.
Just knowing this is coming, I got in yesterday and gutted the coat closet and it is over half done. Yea!
I have needed God to help me, and He is. In this situation, He is using Teri’s skin, Barney’s truck and Myke and Teri’s space to come to my rescue!
This is true friendship (on both our parts), and true humility. I think the combo of this is the cure for my overwhelming burden. I hope so.