Posted by: shelleyjo's life beat | October 25, 2008

reponse to Diane’s blog on “Becoming Old Fashioned – kinda?”

Oh, yeah honey.

You are singing my other song. LOL!

(This is my song, and this is my other song… :O)  …like: This is my brother Daryl, and this is my other brother Daryl; from the Bob Newhart Show.)

I digress already!

The other day, while I was talking with someone at work whom I rarely have time with, Gene called on the cell. The look of shock on this dude’s face was incredulous as I said, “and here he is now!” then silenced the phone. He couldn’t believe it, and even thought I was rude to Gene!

You see, we were talking about Gene when he called!
This guy knew him back when, before I dated him, and they worked out in the same gym downtown. In spite of how much Gene has changed, he recognized him when he saw him with me one day.

Here we were, talking about what a great guy he is, how awesome and all, and I go and silence his ring as he is calling me at that moment! LOL!

I said, “I can play his message and get right back to him. He will be listening for it.”

I didn’t want to disrespect this guy, and I didn’t want to break the flow of praise of my sweet honey! ;O)

I also got to hear how he saw him and felt about him back then, right at the time Gene and I were working together and getting ready to be a couple.

I, too feel it is rude and disrespectful to stay on a phone during a meal or visiting time, and unless it seems to be urgent, I don’t even pick up the call while we are out. I do listen to the message, if one is left, to see if it is urgent. If not. Oh, well.

We used to live without all this stuff. How did we do it then, in the old days? It was the only life we knew!

And, we did wish, many times, that we had an ability to get through to someone when things were not happening as planned, though.These techy toys are really a blessing, we just need to remember our manners.

And, PLAYING with the phone while out with someone? ugh! Sadly lacking in social graces, manners and respect. Unfortunately, that is the condition of our society lately, and I even see so many seniors slip into this without thinking. gasp!

You would not believe what it is taking to get the employees of companies to stay off their phones during company time, and there are laws to consider in some cases!

We are pathetic people these days.

I never thought of the TV’s in restaurants. Gene doesn’t see or hear well enough to lock-in-on them, and is bothered by the “noise” of it all. And I, I was trained well by my mother that the TV is off during meals, so it is not to be watched while eating with others. Plus, I hate competing with the noise while trying to converse with someone, too. I do know that when it comes to restaurants that have sports bars so loud that you can’t think, much less hear your partner, neither one of us wants to go there.

I am hearing you, honey. I hear you.

I do love my gadgets though, and my online communications and all, and must be honest about that…but I don’t want them keeping me from people I know and love, either. Rather, I want them to enhance relationships and compliment them.
I have been quite guilty of playing my Zune Mp3 while surrounded by people I know, like when walking to the office, but at that time I need the break to get my head and mood in the right place, and the music helps. I do try to pay attention around me. Then, when someone is trying to talk with me, or looks like they want my attention, I pull the buds out of my ears.

I am trying to not do this at all, anymore, but at home I am still guilty and need to pull the buds out and say, “what?”. LOL! In all honesty, I was that way with the record player in my brothers’ room while I was growing up, too. When it comes to music, I just get locked right in.

And, I do text quickly off and on during the day. It is how I keep in touch, like a brief email or note. What I love about text is that you can read it when you can and respond when you can (not while on the road, please) or when you want.

I guess there is a tension in it, isn’t there? The tension between self and relationship, between needing to cope, think, escape or just relax, and pushing out of yourself to meet another’s desire or need.

When I see someone with their IPOD in their ears, or their bluetooth and they are in another land, I just smile and try to understand that they may need the escape just to get to work. But, it can be so frustrating or sad to realize that what used to be the 5 minutes we had to catch up with each other has now been stolen away.

Something to think about.



  1. Hey friend.

    I agree with the texting thing. I LOVE being able to check in with someone throughout the day but not have to be on the phone. That way, even if you are with someone, you are not really interupting the conversation. Like, if you are driving somewhere with someone, you can still talk to them, but can check in with someone else as well real quick. I guess that kinda seems like taking some focus away, but I’d rather that than sitting on the phone for ten minutes while the other person in the car is waiting to speak to you again.
    It is also nice that when Nate is at work, he can text me without his co-workers hearing our conversation, or vice versa. I do appreciate the conveniences technology brings, but I get tired of dating the iphone and not my husband!

    Hope you are doing well today. I sure do miss you!

  2. I agree with you, honey!
    Perhaps you can sit with him and make a reasonable agreement that when you are together for dinner or some other “date time”, even at home with cocoa!, that no playing with the phone or gacgets for a reasonable amount of time, whether an hour or two. You two can agree on what reasonable is in whichever case you are in. Make some guidelines, like whether a quick text is alright, etc. and work with each other on it, allowing for those special moments as they come in.
    This will also mean you have to follow the same agreement on your end and show your respect and attention to him in return! You can always get back to the others.
    It really is a way to grow your relationship in a new level.

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