I was at my sister-in-love, Teri’s house Saturday and Sunday for a few hours each day, scanning photos of my life and family into her program. Actually, she was scanning them in and I was remarking helpfully. ;-)
It was so much fun that I am ready to take over another, or as I say, “an entire ‘nother” batch of photos and do some more!
(Teri bought the Photo Shop program on a good sale recently and invited me over to play. Amazing program, by the way.)
Earlier on Saturday I was trying to get the house in order to some degree, and was working in the kitchen and dining room, which is also the computer area. As I was sorting papers on the desk, I came across a stack that were from an older notebook of mine, one that had notes from Christian Women’s conferences and retreats, church and meetings. I was skimming over this to see if I should keep these papers in a binder or toss them, and I noticed notes from a conference that I went to 1996. I had gone in to the prayer ministry room. Two women from Ohio were praying for me, and they each got words for me.
Before the words came, they were laughing softly, then openly laughing as soon as they laid hands on me (typical response, even from the most serious prophets when they touch me). They said that my ministry is unique, and it is! It is on love and forgiveness, but presented in a very unusual way.
The interesting part to read today is that “I have a sense of humor for a purpose”. That “I will talk of pain and sorrow, but because of who I am in Him it will bring joy, laughter and healing”. There were also words about “Him knowing my call and how all my pain will be useful. All of my life is useful, the whole combination of pain and suffering, joy and humor. It is for healing for the broken and for the lost to know Him”. Lots of other stuff, but for this blog, this is the part that is useful.
When I speak on sober and serious stuff, like forgiveness being a must and not an option, loving your enemies, blessing those who curse you, praying for those who despitefully use you, loving one another, loving your neighbor, etc. it is a hard one to deliver. You know, who wants to hear that no matter how they hurt, they need to let go and let God be the judge.
But, immediately as I begin to speak people are laughing. It is literally like I am a stand-up comedian. This last time, even the international prayer leaders of this ministry were laughing so hard that the husband had to put his hand on the ground to keep from rolling out of his pew! Honestly! Others were wiping tears away from laughing so hard, blowing their noses, holding their stomachs, no matter what I was saying!
On the one hand, it is great fun to watch happen, and in some ways, it feels real good. On the other hand, it can be concerning because I wonder if I am just entertaining the troops, or am I getting through with this critical message?
One time, I felt God speak to me that I was a sword with the message, and cutting straight to the depths of the heart, but that in order for them to be open to the sword and for the word to get in to the deep places, it had to be dipped in salve so they wouldn’t resist it, and to keep them from even noticing. Kind of like anesthesia in surgery. The salve in this case is my humor and the laughter.
A few other people have spoken this over me in various ways, and I began to think perhaps it was alright to be me in ministry. Perhaps my humor is a good thing after all.
Now, I have heard for a couple of decades how much joy and healing I can bring, and all the fine words. But for me, there is something more valuable in having relationships with the same people who speak these things to me. I tend to go, “uh-huh, okay”. and move on.
I have always been wierd, and quite often I am told so, by the very people for whom I will do whatever it takes to bring them a spot of joy when things are dark or difficult. So, it is a difficult thing to be such a strange person, to not be understood by any, yet to be loved by so many.
Back to this past Saturday, November 1, 2008.
Teri scanned in one of my favorite childhood photos. I am about 2 years old and our family is visiting my dad’s people in Missourri. I am sitting on a porch seat, between Aunt Harriet and an Uncle, with my cousin Jackie bending over us from behind.
As Teri scanned this badly damaged photo in and began to correct problems, it was enlarged so we could see the details clearly. It was clear to me that I was cracking them up, and they were having a good time with me, even at that age.
Mom has said that I was always holding full conversations on an adult level as soon as I could talk, which was at an earlier age than most. (You know, the million words I have, I started collecting before birth, I think.)
But, it is clear here that I was literally cracking them all up, the teen and the adults.
When I saw this, I realized that I have been cracking people up my entire life, literally!
I have noticed, now that I can take my own picture with my cell phone camera, that it is hard for me to get a “normal” face and expression for the picture. It turns out too comical or strange, just plain funny. I was made to be a hoot! As I noticed this in October of this year, I put it on video mode and spoke and moved and realized I am a born comic! Too funny. I thought, what a strange face! But then I started laughing and cracked myself up! Too funny!
Looking on more photos, I realize it is a family gift. All my siblings and I have this unique humor and faces. It comes out of each of us differently and individually, but it is the same gift with individual variances.
Truly, it has finally sunk in, this past weekend and is still sinking in as I write this. This is a gift! It is a gift from God for me and for those in my life, whomever they may be at any given moment. It is a blessing. It is alright to be a little wierdo. I was made this way on purpose, and it is a good thing to be.
Eets a geeft!