Posted by: shelleyjo's life beat | November 6, 2008

When Feeling Downtrodden By Your Own Shortcomings

When Feeling Downtrodden By Your Own Shortcomings 

1 John 1:5-10 NKJV (Italics mine):

God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

Dear Heart,

I just read this one, and some things in it just highlighted to me.

Remember how I said that no matter what others would say or what things looked or felt like, I always stood on the “knowledge” and belief that your heart is good, and pure? And that if you knew there was sin or offense, I just “knew” and expected that you would be humble, broken, repent, and etc.

It was in your character, as far as I could see, and with what I felt about you while in your company. That no matter what needed maturing or refining, you were with our Father and I could count on Him to finish the work in you (and I referred to this latter part of our sister as well, remember?) and that you would have the heart to hear and obey the Father.

Well, dear, sweet, heart. It is THE mark of a true believer that is walking in the light. Not that we do not sin, or offend (we ALL do!), but rather our response to it that makes us genuine and true. You have the hallmarks of walking in the light, his Glory to be seen in you and it was tested in intense fire and you have gained this glory the hard way.

You are confessing and repenting.

Now, the blood is powerful enough to purify the worst of sins. Grieve over your own failures, but don’t camp under them. Recognize that you, like all the rest of your siblings, cannot please God by being ‘a god’ with perfection, but rather by coming to Him in a spirit of true humility and brokenness, and a deep and burning desire to please Him, and walk in whatever He has you to do, however humbling.

This verse clearly states instruction for responding to your own sin in order to walk in the light, meaning that He knows and expects that we will sin from time to time, and He has it covered with His blood and these instructions (as well as others).

When you have done grieving a reasonable amount of time, you must come up into the joy that His forgiveness (and your receiving of it) has produced in you! That is the hallmark of realizing just how magnificent a God we are friends with. His grace IS sufficient. His blood does CLEANSE completely and we
are truly clean and FREE as long as we have been genuine.

That is why others should be beating a path to our Father’s house, because of liberty apart from our
own perfection!

Be free! God is doing this, and not we ourselves. Remember that all of this, and the same and similar offenses have been committed for “generations” before you in this ministry and churches (the body), and we have had our seasons of repentance, too (and meant it).

During this time, He is dealing a death blow to the thing and I believe that root will be uprooted. That is why we have been literally paired to almost nothing, in this ministry, and in our lives. And this, too is good.

The fruit of it all is life, and death has no place in life.

We are all learning, sweetheart and we always will be. Once we realize that, and walk in that knowledge (that we are always growing, learning, falling down, getting up, falling down, getting up, messing ourselves, urping up on ourselves, griming others with our messy hands, periodically tantruming, or being drama queens, thinking we know more than our parents, etc. and, that our Father of Lights is not asking anything more of us than to be at the maturity and age we are in Him, and to continue to press on in growing up) then we are FREE.

We can just learn from it, get through it, not have unrealistic expectations of ourselves, watch as He redeems it all, and keep on growing. Just as it is in the natural but better, because His grace meets the people (and ourselves) in spite of ourselves! We can be as immature and imperfect as we are and STILL
bear fruit because HE is the Lord of the Harvest.

Be free. He will not fail us, and as long as we live in what His word is saying as best we can, at every given moment, and repent when we haven’t, we will bear fruit. Period.

Our failures are not powerful things. Our attitude and heart condition are!

The fruitfulness comes not in the “not failing” but rather in the response to the failing.

It is not the offenses that come (whether by us to others or by others to us), but our response to those offenses (as well as their response to them) that produce or kill fruit.

Jesus said, offenses will come, and more as the day approaches. Many will fall away at the end because of offenses!

They WILL increase. This is why we are being honed to bleeding in this area. He did not say, never offend or be offended, but to love and respond correctly when they do!

You are doing this. Be patient in long suffering and tender mercy with yourself too, as you are one of His as much as the others are. Know that this has been an incredible learning time, and a time of character and building of propriety, as well as those other things we have read in His word last night.

The reason I had to walk through it under many leaders, for so many years in silence and without relief seeming to come, is to learn to be more like David, who only took his rightful place when it was due season. He would not let others follow him prematurely, speak against Saul, nor take Saul’s life early. This would have killed his own destiny! (As we see in his son, Absalom.)

God did the work and brought him into his destiny, in spite of his grievous and very public sins against an entire (God-favored) nation, and individuals, too! When I get too bowed under my own failings and sins, I re-read David’s life and say, here is my example of how to come into victory in spite of myself, because God…

I love you , sweetheart.

Hangeth thou in there. The time is at hand. ShelleyJo
“egal was es Kostet” (No matter the cost.)

(Actually, I like my other ‘signature”, too. Want to see it? 
LOL! Here it is; . . .

And Jesus said, This is My body…. … … Eat Me!) 

Shalom, Shalom.

This was an email written to a dear friend on February 3,  2005. She advised me to keep it and write a book of such letters. LOL! I felt today that there may be someone who would benefit from reading it, so I edited it for public reading. God bless you.



  1. So….I can’t find my journaling stuff…and I know I saw it recently. So I am thinking it must have been at moms and I saw when we were packing. Which means its in a box at moms in the garage waiting to be unpacked. So as soon as I find it I will be perusing it! I can’t wait to find it and read what I had written!
    Love you.

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