-Writing Creatively-pg. 21-22
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth…And God created man in His own image. (Genesis 1:1 and 1:27a, NAS)
This essentially says that God is creative, and suggests that man is, too.
Lord, Give me the freedom to be my creative self.
Lord, my creative self, which you made unique unto me, has started…
to stir in the depths of my being, having been long dormant. As yet unknown, now awakened so rudely from the deep slumber, which has carefully hid and protected it’s secret.
Awakened! How? Through one simple word of the prophet, expertly sent with precision, cutting the cover from the mystery of the buried treasure…the written word. A writer! Me?
Now the process of awakening has begun, and there is no way to get the lid back on the thing. It creeps up, peering out often, sometimes pushing and clamoring, capturing my attention so that I must think of it.
Alive! the word has aroused in me a knowledge I never had before. I am to write! Outrageous as it seems, it is truth, real truth. I know it, and cannot deny it any longer. I must recognize it and acknowledge it for the thing that God has placed within me.
Nervousness has come with this knowledge. For now, there accompanies this word a responsibility. Responsibility to pursue something I’ve never even thought of before and as yet am completely ill equipped for. Trying desperately to ignore it, even forget it, I am unable to escape it’s demand to be expressed.
It was so much easier to question why.
Why do I have so many more words than others have? Why do I use so many more words than others use? (How then, can I be so devoid of them at times, finding nothing but silence? Words it seems would only mess things up.)
Why do I love words, whether hearing them, or looking at the printed word?
Why does it not always matter what the words are, just the sight of them refreshes my soul and spirit?
Why am I comforted just to lie with God’s word open on my chest, the words over my heart and lungs, bringing me peace when I am too weary to read?
What is the deal with me, and this love for paper-whether printed on with words or blank, with ink, pencils, pens, calligraphy, notebooks, binders, books, etc? Why do I collect so much empty paper? Why do I so love the smell of ink, and always have? (I remember the smell of the mimeographed pages that the teacher would bring to us, fresh from the machines…heaven!)
Why do I have such difficulty letting go of a book, even though I have not looked at it again?
Why is it that, of all my mother’s possessions, the only ones I really want or desire are the old family Bibles, the old love letters of my grandparents, the poems and writings of my mother, and the old recipe books? Words! How I love them!
Why do I so enjoy word pictures, plays on words, jokes that center around words and the way they are turned, used and interpreted? Why do I so enjoy other languages, even though they are a mystery to me? Just to hear the cadence, tones and rhythms of words bring such pleasure. To look at words written in other languages, though foreign to me, is pure pleasure.
Hmm…could it be that at the core of my being this gift of writing words was tiring of it’s captivity? Have they been clamoring to get my attention all along?
Pity that I did not know the gift of God within me!
Oh! How I wish I had recognized the treasure within me. How I regret the shame and embarrassment of being so different, of being such a word person.
Forgive me, Lord for being ashamed of it, for rejecting the way I am made, for believing a lie.
Forgive me for believing that no one would be interested in anything I would write, as I have experienced so often in conversation.
This sleeping giant, rising within me will not be left silent. The thoughts and words are surging to the surface, demanding to be written!
Surely, it only matters if I am faithful to write what You, my Lord give me to write!
Help me, Lord to write all You have placed within me, and all that You will!
Teach me the ways, skills, and knowledge of writing.
Place within my life those who will mentor me, and who will correct and encourage me along the path you have given for me. This is my prayer. Open the way for me, and I will walk through it!